the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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