seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
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I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.