I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.