Texts From Last Night

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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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  (210): It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently http://tfl.nu/9vg5
  Replies (23) Good night (2460) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.

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  (224): bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh. http://tfl.nu/hyh0
  Replies (5) Good night (4202) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So for us it's double that?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Precisely.

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  (570): Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime. (717): So for us it's double that? (570): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/p9hg
  Replies (33) Good night (4869) Bad night (586)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle

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  (904): nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle http://tfl.nu/jw9o
  Replies (55) Good night (5166) Bad night (1314) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.

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  (815): Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit. http://tfl.nu/yacj
  Replies (22) Good night (1376) Bad night (5480) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch

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  (678): My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch http://tfl.nu/nghk
  Replies (11) Good night (3568) Bad night (1247) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.

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  (814): Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/cbd5
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (1556) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child

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  (207): Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child http://tfl.nu/qzf1
  Replies (4) Good night (2698) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are

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  (303): I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned. (720): Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed? (303): my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are http://tfl.nu/22n0
  Replies (9) Good night (3681) Bad night (1168)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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  (701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7
  Replies (4) Good night (290) Bad night (1457) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.

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  (407): I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk. http://tfl.nu/whru
  Replies (8) Good night (326) Bad night (715) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms

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  (775): I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms http://tfl.nu/bwoh
  Replies (4) Good night (673) Bad night (269) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.

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  (330): He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious. http://tfl.nu/rluf
  Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?

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  (586): Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking? http://tfl.nu/6uzh
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (146) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.

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  (306): I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee. http://tfl.nu/xuxq
  Replies (1) Good night (566) Bad night (150)

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