Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter