i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
