We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize