I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I FOUND THE LEGS
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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