I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
