McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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