"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Randomize
