i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well I just put wine in my tea
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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