My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
