life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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