this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
