PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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