I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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