On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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