She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
