You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
