I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i need some magic done to my vagina
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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