Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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