I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
