Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I forget how to act sober
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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