just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
