dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
