You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
