New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
