your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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