dude i'm inner monologue high
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
