i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
