now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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