I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize