woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
