Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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