There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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