its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
