i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
