just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Found the puke drawer
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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