Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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