My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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