I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
