If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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