I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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