I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
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She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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