The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
