He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
