I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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