at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
