bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
foreskin is a definite game changer
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
