Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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