I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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