Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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