Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
