You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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