Already got asked if we're dating
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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