apparently the secret to your success is patron
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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