I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize