As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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