Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I understand Curling. That high.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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