with your own penis?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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