Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
