I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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