there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
