When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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